05 May, 2016

Baby Number 3?

It's been almost 3 years since I last saw those two little blue lines come up on my pregnancy test and so recently I have been wondering, What about having baby number 3?

I think once you've have your first baby many people are quick to ask you when you're planning on popping out a second and not leaving it too late. But what about once you've had your second? I personally feel like there is some sort of stigma on wanting more than 2 children. Not everyone is like this, but I do feel there is a lot of  people that seem to think that your crazy to have more than two.

After I had my youngest I had a lot of people tell me "well, that's it your all done now"and it seriously got me thinking as to why people think two is the right number?
Is it because most people hope for a one of each gender? Is it because having two means that one parent can always watch one whilst the other has the other child meaning your never out numbered, or is it to do with the convenience and cost of having two?

I grew up with a twin sister and then when my mother remarried, I was blessed with 3 more siblings.  I enjoy being a part of a big family. I know I always have someone to talk to and the holidays are never lonely.

Growing up I loved being around babies and younger children, I was always happy to babysit and acting motherly was the most natural thing for me to do. So when my first two little lines appeared over 6 years ago I was so thrilled, yet terrified because I knew what was to come... giving birth!

Telling people I was pregnant was one of the hardest things I've ever done, I had a few people congratulate me, but then I had many telling me I'm too young to be a mother and basically I've  ruined my life! It was more of a devastating blow to them, then a joyous celebration.

As I've gotten older I can see why they thought/said that I was only 19 when I fell pregnant with Alfie. However, I know I have done an exceptional job. In 6 years I have raised so far.... because let's face it this could all change!  Two sweet and respectful boys and I don't think I could have done it any better at any other age. I have always been there for my children, I have never expected anyone else to look after them. They have always been my responsibility so why would a third be any different?

After Alfie turned one I started to get the questions  "So when are you going to have another?"
Now Alfie's birth was traumatic, so a year post delivery was still even too soon for me too even think about having another. I wanted to give my body the best time to heal both physically and mentally.

As Alfie approached his 3rd birthday, I did start to have those feelings of maybe now it's time for a second. It was that moment of my biological clock is ticking and a few months later I was surprisingly staring at my second lot of the two blue lines.

Having Archie made me feel like we had finally become a family and temporarily he was enough to complete it.... Until now.
Now I'm at that stage where I have been thinking a lot, especially over the last 9 months "What about another child?"
There is that little something niggling away at me saying I'm not finished yet, but to everyone else I apparently am. I have two, two's enough and I don't need anymore. But why is two the right number?

Whilst I would be happy, actually, I'd be over the moon to have another, I know that the timing is not right at present. I am still struggling with my weight from my last pregnancy and I know that to avoid extra risks and complications I should really lose a good stone or two.  Archie has also just started pre-school a couple mornings a week and so I am getting a bit of my life back and then there is my partner. He said he's done after two, but I think he is mainly worried due to my previous complications. I seem to have an issue with having straightforward deliveries, it's not an option according to my last two.  I know if we were to have another he would love it just as much as our other two so maybe at some point, he will change his mind....... I'm really hoping he will or we may have a problem!

At some point I would love to welcome a third child into our family, maybe not this year or next but in a couple of years. I'm so excited for our family to expand, I know I can't have the big family of 5 that I always wanted (due to my previous delivery doctors have suggested only one more). But I know that there is still the chance for one more until that time comes I will keep on being a full-time mum to my two beautiful boys and enjoy our time as a family of four.

 I have always been a believer in things happen for a reason, I believe my Grandma sent me Alfie after she died, I really found things really hard. However 6 months later I found out I was pregnant so I really do believe she was watching over me.  And I believe that at some point I will be sent another special gift when it's my time. 

Have you ever experienced the negativity that comes with wanting more than 2 children? Leave me your story in the comments below.  


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